Conversations in our house

There is a girl up the street named Kenzie. She is the bully of the neighborhood. She is loud, obnoxious and a spoiled brat. She isn't always cruel... she just needs a lot of attention. (I think she has extremely LOW self esteem)

My kids have big hearts though and are always nice to her. They'll play at her house until she pisses them off and they come home. But they always give her another chance.

Bug and Carl tease J-man about liking her. If we are going somewhere and see her in front of her house, Carl always says "there's your girl, J-man!". To which J-man promptly pretends like he is going to puke.

Anyhoo...

The other night Carl asked J-man, "So. What's it like to kiss Kenzie?"

J-man, "I don't know. Bug? What is it like?"

Bug, "EWWWWW, J-man! I'm not a lesbian!"

My little girl... knowing the word lesbian... and what it means...

Mindblowing.

CRAZY IVAN

Saw this video on another blog and thought it was hilarious! I have always loved Donny Osmond and this makes it even more so. It is a side I thought I would never see!

Loophole

Bug and I went to see J-man in his Christmas concert at school. Carl had to work but he stopped by in time to see J-man perform then went back to do his thang.

On the way, Bug called shotgun. J-man didn't mind; he knew he had it for the ride home.

After the concert, J-man yelled, "Shotgun!!!"

Bug said: "Nuh-uh! I still have it."

J-man: "No you don't! I get it on the way home."

Bug: "Yes I do. We aren't going home! We have to go to Publix with MOM!"

J-man: "doh!!!! LOOPHOLE!!!!!!"

Serious stuff

Bug takes everything we say seriously. The child doesn't understand the concept of sarcasm, nor does she catch on when we are teasing her. It is so cute to watch her try and figure out if we are being serious or pulling her leg.

She also follows rules to a T. I'm not talking about house rules... I'm talking about things she thinks would Break The Law and Send Her to Jail kind of rules.

Here are a couple of examples of both:

• I took Bug and Jman to the movies. To save money, we brought our own candy and put it in my purse. Bug REFUSED to eat it at first. She said it was against the rules and we would be thrown out if we got caught. I convinced her it was ok and she began munching away on her sour patch kids.
  
  Of course I am a mean ol' mama and the minute she was really into her candy I jumped and whispered in a frantic manner "Oh NO! There's someone that works here! Hide it!"
  
  She almost choked and couldn't hide her stash fast enough. I, on the other hand, was laughing my ass off.
  


• We went to Wally World the other day. Carl grabbed a case of drinks to put in the cart. Bug came running up to me nearly in tears. She was saying "We have to leave, Mama... NOW!" I asked her why and she said it was because "Daddy was going to open one of those drinks and start drinking it! We'll get KICKED OUT!!!"
  


• Sitting at dinner with my dad and step-mom one night, we were talking about when the kids were born. I told Bug she came from an egg. Judy told her the egg was beautitful, too; it was a beautiful shade of blue. Bug processed all this for a minute and then looked at me and said "Really?"
  


• Bug was talking to me about her birthday and how excited she was about her party. (This was in May or June - her birthday is July) I looked at her and said "Oh honey. I think you are old enough to know now... they made a mistake on your birth certificate. You weren't born in July. You were actually born November 23... I'm sorry. We didn't want to tell you until we thought you were old enough to handle it and you are almost 10 now..." The look on her face was priceless.
  
  She said "What? My birthday isn't until NOVEMBER? How can that be? I thought you said it was HOT when I was born? November isn't HOT!" She was nearly in tears! I felt so bad... but still thought it was funny. I told her I was teasing... and she let out the biggest sigh.

That is all I can think of at the moment... I'm sure my dad can share a few more...

Needless to say, she is a charming and funny little girl that takes everything sooooo serious. I only hope she continues to follow the rules as she reaches her rebellious years.

Learning words

Bug and J-man have learned all the words to Nickelback's Rockstar thanks to this video:

I was watching Bug sing it at the top of her lungs the other day and commented to Carl that I don't know what is more disturbing - hearing my sweet little daughter say:

• "Gonna pop my pills from a Pez dispenser" or
• "Everybody's gotta drug dealer on speed dial"

But the kid loves rock-n-roll... she is turning out to be me after all.

YIKES!

Disappointment

Going to bed last night I noticed the light to the "man room" was on. This is the room where we hide the Christmas presents... behind LOCKED doors.

I told Carl when we were shopping that we needed to find a new place to hide the loot. He said "nah. They won't realize they were there. Plus, they don't have a key! They don't know how to open the door." I rolled my eyes and said "OK. Wait and see."

So the light was on. I called Carl to see if he had been in there. Nope.

I stood in the hallway and asked the kids (thru their doors) if they had been in there. Nope.

I said, "Well, the cats don't have a key and the boys are too dumb to know how to turn on a light (meaning the puppers -- although one could argue the point at times), so SOMEONE has the key. It needs to be in my hand by the time I get to ten or you two are on restriction."

One: nothing

Two: Bug "I don't have it, Mom! I swear I don't"

Three: rustling -- J-man opens his door with the key in his hand.

I was sooooo flippen mad. We worked hard to save up for their surprises and now J-man knows everything he is getting for Christmas. That BUMS ME OUT. I love surprising them...

Bug swears she doesn't know and that J-man didn't tell. I hope that is the case or Christmas is going to SUCK this year. I'm not getting either one of them anything else. They'll get what is in that room and that is it. I want them to realize just how disappointing it is going to be when there are no surprises this year.

GAH... and we still have two months to go.

Bummer.

Nothing changes!

We were watching TV with the kids last night (as usual) when a commerical came on. It is fairly new, and one that we see on occasion. It depicts a woman on a "game show" but the commercial is actually for insurance.

The emcee asks her three questions about what she is insured for and she answers them. In the end she winds up "winning" by getting the right insurance coverage for all her needs.

As Carl and I were talking during the commercial I was watching Bug out of the corner of my eye. She was INTENT on that commercial. After the third question she banged her hand on her leg and said "Man, I wish she would get at least ONE question wrong! She always gets them right!"

I said, "Honey? Do you not realize that is a COMMERCIAL and she will always get the questions right? It is all about selling insurance."

She just looked at me, grinned and said "Oh"...


If I could get YouTube at work I'd look for the commerical and post it so you would have some idea of what I am talking about. Maybe I'll do it tonight.

Conversations in my house

"Mom," Bug says, "I have a new boyfriend at school. I'm going to tell you some things about him and then QUIZ you to see if you were listening.*"

Me: Ok, honey. Go for it.

Bug: (using her fingers to count off)

• His name is SB. (last name sounds like the name of a vaccuum cleaner -- so that is what Carl and I call him now-- S. Vaccuum Cleaner)
• He has browndish-blondish hair
• He has bro--- no WAIT -- HAZEL eyes
• His favorite color is... blue
• His favorite sport is... baseball
• His favorite food is... chicken
• He is - like - mid-tempo

Me: Wait. Mid-tempo? What does that mean?

Bug: You know... it takes a lot to get him mad. He is MID-TEMPO

Me: Do you mean Mild Tempered?

Bug:(rolling her eyes) Whateverrrrrr!! You know what I mean...

Me: (laughing to hard to say anything else)

* I passed after I stopped laughing.

Double digits

My baby girl turns 10 today. Where has the time gone? When did she grow up?

And when did I become the mom of a tween and an almost teenager (in less than three weeks)?!!! Lord, please slow time down.

Happy birthday, Bug. I hope your day is as special and wonderful as YOU are. I love you.

New responsibility

I'm in class this week and am not getting home until around 7 or 7:30. It hasn't been an issue because Carl has been off, but tonight he heads back to work.

We decided to give J-man some responsibility and let him babysit his sister until I get home. It is only for an hour and a half to two hours, and their dad is just a phone call away. Still, it makes me nervous that my baby boy is babysitting my baby girl. He's 12 though and is old enough to handle it.

As he was heading off to bed last night I said, "Don't forget. You are watching your sister tomorrow night. You'll be the man of the house for a while."

He turns around and says, "Oh, Dad. Will mom cook dinner when she gets home? Or will you do it before you leave? Or maybe I should just order us some pizza."

Carl said (while trying to keep a straight face), "Don't worry about it, son. I'll take care of dinner."

Once J-man got upstairs I don't think Carl and I quit laughing for full five minutes.

He is taking this job SERIOUS.

Riverdance

Bug watched a video of Lord of the Dance in school and really liked it. Here she is showing me what she saw... Enjoy!

She gets it honest, doesn't she?!