On top of everything that has happened with the pupper, I'm having issues at work.
This is the hardest job I have ever had. Hands down. They are paying me good money and are getting the work outta me. I have worked late, I have worked on weekends, and I am even having to work late on my birthday.
Yesterday was particularly bad. I have busted my butt on a big project and got feedback that it needed some "refinements"... which made me miss my deadline.
I was beating myself up over it pretty bad at the end of the day. I like to get things done... on time... and this one didn't work out that way.
So driving in the rain on the way home (which took over 2 hours)... guess what happened.
I ran over and killed a cat.
It was crossing the road and was half way across. As I approached, he freaked and ran back in my direction. I couldn't avoid him. I felt it.
I had held myself together until that point. After I looked in my mirror and saw what had happened I LOST it. By the time I pulled into my driveway a couple of minutes later I was sobbing. Hiccup inducing sobs. Can't catch my breath sobs. Scare my kids sobs.
I was a mess.
I have never been so happy to have Carl there to hug me and calm me down. I needed to be held. I needed him to stroke my hair and tell me it was all going to be ok and that he believed in me.
What a horrible day.
But today is better. The crying felt cleansing.
And I have Carl driving by to see how bad the cat looks. UGH.
A Forced March in the Woods. Part 2
7 months ago