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Saturday, January 15, 2011

Shattered

See that lil' guy over there? Grimmy?

Remember I told you he was sick?

Yeah.

He has stage 5 lymphoma.

My big guy only has a couple of weeks.

Carl said he would have let them put him down the minute they told him it was cancer. He doesn't want to see the pain Grimmy will be having.

I couldn't do it. I was with Bug when the diagnosis came in and we both lost it. The thought of putting him down was too much to bear. I asked if he was in pain and the vet assured me he isn't - yet. We were told what signs to look for, and I promised Bug the instant I see one of those, we will do what needs to be done. He will not suffer.

So for now we are going to spoil him rotten. He took his first dose of Prednisone this morning and he has perked up a bit. He has an appetite so we are feeding him whatever he can keep down - eggs, boiled chicken. I went and got him canned food but he turned up his nose to it. Oh well.

I'm constantly on the verge of tears. I think about his silly faces... his grin... and it breaks my heart. He started his life so rough - we don't know his story because he is a rescue. We assume he was not given proper attention because the poor guy doesn't know how to "play" - so the thought that he will leave this world knowing he was part of a family that adored him brings some comfort.

I'm not sure how I will handle it when it happens. For now I just lay in the floor - he can't even jump on the couch any more - and whisper to him that I love him. That he means everything to his family and we will miss him.

I whisper "Grimmy Grim Grim - I love you"

And watch his sweet tail wag.

19 comments:

SkippyMom said...

When I saw the title on my blog roll I started to cry before I ever got over here. And now the whole family is teary eyed.

He is such a special guy and we know how much you love him.

If there is anything we can do please do not hesitate to ask/email - anything Marni.

Please give him a[nother] smooch from me. And tell I said "Good Boy".

Some Guy said...

I'm so sorry for you and your family, Marni. You guys are so lucky to have had each other.

Becky said...

I'm so sorry that you received such a devastating diagnosis. Another little pug, Plum from pugsplace went to the bridge today. You will know when the time is right and he will tell you too. Give him a hug, a gentle kiss and a belly rub from me.

Dale said...

Sorry to hear the news. Happy thoughts for all of you.

Biddie said...

Oh, Marni, I am so sorry. There are no words.
I am thinking of you. .
Hugs xx

Thisisme. said...

Marni, I have just popped over to see you from SkippyMom's blog. She is obviously very worried about you all, and especially poor little Grimmy. He is such a cute looking little pug, and I am so sorry to hear that he is not well. Just sending you warmest wishes from over here in England, and know that you will all be in my thoughts over the next few weeks. Just carry on spoiling little Grimmy and give him all the love you can.

Life in the mom lane said...

Marni,
I too came over from Skippy's site- I am so sorry to hear your sad news. There are no words to really console you now- it is horrible... I know because I have been there myself. Take solace that since your little guy has found you he has known real love & devotion. Sending good thoughts your way- Hang in there!

Bouncin' Barb said...

Hi..My great friend Skippy asked me to come by and say hi and to tell you I'm sending you some positive thoughts and energies to you during a tough time. It's never easy because we love our pets like we do our kids.

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

I'm so so sorry that you have to go through this and that your sweet little guy is, too. My sister recently had to put her little girl terrier down after she suffered a massive stroke. It was so hard; she was born in 2001 so she wasn't old but things happen. I can only imagine what you're feeling.

bruce said...

sorry about your litle buddy...


my thoughts and prayers are with you and yours

Bruce
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evilbruce
stupid stuff i see and hear
Bruce’s guy book
the guy book
Dreamodel Guy
dreamodeling!

Tessa said...

Marni, I skipped over from Skippy's to let you know you are not alone. We have two adorable Pugs, Ninja and Breeze, and totally understand your deep feelings for your fellow. We lost one of ours several years ago to cancer as well, he was only 6 so I totally understand how you feel. Sending huge hugs for all in your family and the Pug brothers. May God give you strength when the time comes for him to cross the Rainbow Bridge. I'll send a special prayer for him to our Tucker so that when he gets there he will not be alone. God bless!

Jeannie said...

Skippy sent me too. Sorry about your deep sorrow. Many people don't understand how deeply you can love a pet but they really are like any other member of your family - or can be I suppose. I'm sure Grim was a very fortunate dog in his mind having a caring family for the years he did. (I still get tears when I think about my previous dog who died 2 1/2 years ago) It's so hard.

Laurie said...

I came over here from Skippy's site to let you know my heart breaks for you and that you aren't alone in your grief. Losing a beloved family pet is one of the hardest things to go through. When our boxer Rose passed on with short notice 3 years ago, one thing that helped our family was to make a memory box for her. We all wrote down our memories of her, good and naughty,and printed them out and put them in the box. It helped us feel a little better remembering the good times. I still have two boxers at home, but I still miss her every day.

Mynx said...

I am also a friend of Skippy. All I can offer is a hug. We lost our old boy a couple of years ago and I still miss him.

Odie Langley said...

As you can tell Skippy has a lot of friends and I want to add my loving hugs for Grimmy and the current illness. I have a little "taco bell" boy that is the love of our lives and he is on Phenabarbitol every day for the rest of his life for seizures. I just wanted you to know I care.
Odie

CindyDianne said...

Marni - I am so sorry. I've had bad news about Daisy this last week and I'm not ready to think about it. I'm pulling a Scarlett O'Hara and thinking about it tomorrow.

Love him up while you can. So very sad.

Lori@pugsplace said...

Marni, I am very sorry to hear Grimmy's diagnosis :( I have lost 2 beloved puggies myself in the past 2 years. It is so very hard. Plummy as you know just went to the bridge two days ago and even though it was her time and I knew she had to go before she started to suffer - it doesn't make it any easier to lose your best puggy pal.

Enjoy this precious time that you do have. Spoiling him rotten for as long as possible is the best plan. Maybe try a MCDonalds cheesburger to get him eating! My thoughts and prayers are with you.

xoxo Lori
(and Sausage and Plummy at the bridge)

comebacknikki said...

Oh, I'm so, so sorry to hear this.
{{{Marni}}}

Heidi the Hick said...

I'm so sorry. I know this feeling. Ive had to do this a few times and it is heartbreaking to say goodbye. You're doing the right thing. Spoil him. Love him. Know that youve given him a good life. Hugs to you and the family.