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Tuesday, December 08, 2009


I'm trying really hard to get in the Christmas spirit.

We have the tree up and decorated, but the nativity is still in the box. The other decorations we have are still in the attic, although the wreath is on the front door.

I just don't care this year.

Maybe it is because it has been a rough year. We don't have a lot of money and the gifts seem less than the past. I know Christmas isn't about how much you spend, but I'm sad that I can't afford to give all my friends and family what I WANT to give them. My hands are tied and I feel like I have to make excuses.

Luckily, I went to a meeting and won something I can give one of the kids, and a co-worker was able to get me something similar to give to the other kid. (I didn't ask for this... I just have an awesome client that looks out for our team. She did it for others, too) That is HUGE for us. If that hadn't happened, the kids would only be getting socks and puzzles for their presents.

I hate it.

I want to be full of the spirit. I want to enjoy the season. I want to know that my family is taken care of.

I guess the best present I can give them is just to BE. Be happy when I am with them, be satisfied that I'm doing the best I can, be thankful I have a job and home and can provide at least a little something. Be supportive. Be loving. Be less worried about the material, and more concerned with the here and now. Be a good mom. wife, friend, daughter.

That might be a wonderful gift for not only my family, but for me.


SkippyMom said...

I am off to email you.

Please try to remember we love you and it will all pass. This will get better, I promise.

Love you sweetheart.

Becky said...

I'm right there with you. I've been looking for a job since 7/08. I try my best to be positive for my daughter. It will get better, that's what everyone keeps telling me. I'm wishing that for you, too.