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Friday, May 02, 2008

My run of bad luck followed me home

I am so happy to be home. The return trip was just as eventful as the time in LA. Want to know what happened?

Before I get started, however, I must say I haven't watched Lost yet. Carl recorded it for me. I just haven't had the opportunity to watch. Once I do, I'll post my thoughts... I know you are DYING to know them!!

Anywhoo-

The trip home started OK. I got to the airport, posted my thoughts about the trip, called my buddy in VA to make sure she was OK and then boarded the plane.

I sat down in my window seat. There was an empty seat in between myself and another lady. As I got settled in I smelled something nasty. I couldn't figure out what it was and started subtly sniffing around. I took a peek at my seat mate and realized she was clutching her stomach and looking at the quickest routes to the bathroom. I thought to myself "Great. She is sick to her stomach. I hope she doesn't puke!"

But it was worse.

As I watched her out of the corner of my eye I saw her look down the front of her jeans. And then roll up her shirt... where there was something ON IT. She took a kleenex and tried to clean it up.

After doing a little more looking, I realized she had on a wig. That is when it hit me. She either had or has cancer and I think she had a colostomy bag that had leaked on her. She smelled sooo bad. She got up and went to the bathroom, but it didn't do any good. I had to ride for 2.5 hours to Denver with my jacket over my nose and mouth. I couldn't move seats -- it was a pretty full flight. I didn't want to embarrass her, and I couldn't smell anything as long as my nose was covered. She put a blanket over her which helped, too. But when we landed and she threw it off --- OMG -- the green cloud that descended over the cabin... it was horrifying. I don't know if anyone else was affected, but it was killing me.

My mom described the smell perfect -- it smelled like a septic tank.

Sorry if that made you sick... the rest isn't as bad.

Finally, we get to Denver. I rushed off the plane to clean air... and SNOW. I couldn't believe how hard it was snowing. To me it looked like white out conditions, but I'm a Georgia girl. My state shuts down with just an inch of snow... this was so much more than that.

Needless to say, we were stranded on the plane for well over an hour before we could be de-iced and take off. We finally landed in ATL 2 hours late... and the pilot said he was "speeding" to get us there. I looked at the inflight map at one point and we were going 550 knots per hour. WOW!

Once we landed I got my bag and headed to the shuttle to go to my car. I parked in a lot that was three traffic lights from the highway. Wouldn't you know the city was doing resurfacing of that street and had it shut down to one lane both ways. I needed to turn left, but NO. I had to turn right and go back to the airport to get on another highway to get home.

THEN I get in my little city and some kind of road work was going on. I was stuck in traffic with no one doing any kind of traffic control. I called Carl raising hell and he got someone to come and let ME through... it pays to "KNOW" people. Hee.

My plane was supposed to land at 8:01 and I was supposed to be home no later than 9:30. Well... We landed at 10 and I got home at 11:15.

I hope all my bad luck is said and done. I don't want anything to happen the rest of the week... or to mess up my vacation next week...

If you are still reading this... thank you! I'm glad to be home. I'll post pictures soon.

6 comments:

Lisa said...

Welcome home! :)

CindyDianne said...

Seriously, I gagged just thinking about it.

Bubs said...

Ok, I will never, ever again in my life complain about people being flatulent on airplane flights.

Christine said...

While I feel bad for her...I definitely feel worse for you. I guess changing seats wasn't an option. Thank goodness she wasn't right beside you.

Biddie said...

Oh, Marni, I know the smell all too well. When I was in school for my PSW training, we had to learn how to clean a stoma and a clostomy bag. It was one of the worst parts for me!
I'm glad that you made it home safe and sound :)

coffeypot said...

Cool! Did you take any pictures of the 'green cloud'? Carl and I laughed about it and told the kiddies. They went 'eeewwwweeee.'