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Monday, January 28, 2008

Just once... please

Sometimes I would like to be surprised.

Carl and I have fallen into the habit of buying presents for one another while we are together. For example, we bought the camera to take on our trip while in Best Buy. After the purchase, we said "Merry Christmas!"

But I'm a girl. I like surprises.

This weekend we went to the mall. Bug and I stopped in Bath and Body Works to get some lotion. Carl and J-man stayed out of the store because, you know, it is for girls!!!

After smelling almost everything available, Bug and I made our purchases and headed back into the mall. The guys were no where to be found.

Bug and I were walking past the next store just as J-man came out -- it was a jewelry store, and he was the "look out". Inside stood Carl talking to the sales lady as she was putting something back in the case. Carl looked at me and said "you may as well come on in and look at it!" I said "NOOOO!!! If you are buying me jewelry I want to be surprised. I don't want to know what you are getting!" (My birthday is next week) So Bug and I went our merry way... leaving the boys to finish whatever they were doing.

We met up again just after Carl made the purchase. He said "Well, you know what I've got you... don't you just want it now?" I said "Here? In the MALL? Are you crazy?! No. I want to wait until. my. birthday. Besides all I know is that it is jewelry. I don't know what it is... I want to keep it that way!"

Later on that evening, as we were driving home, he says to me "Where are your business cards? I told you three weeks ago that I needed one." To which I replied "and I told you they were in my wallet. Go in there and get one". He huffs and says "I don't go in your purse, but I need it because I'm going to send you some FLOWERS!" I said "Jiminy Christmas, Carl, can I NEVER be surprised? Do you have to tell me everything?"

It is soooo frustrating!! His heart is in the right place. He wants to give me the world and he doesn't want to wait to see me happy. He loves making me smile, and I love him for that... I just wish he would go shopping at the mall on his day off for my presents and NOT tell me about it!

Just one surprise... that is all...

Do I sound ungrateful? I'm not... I promise.


Canadian flake said...

lol I know EXACTLY how you feel...I have the same problem with the gnome.

At Christmas time, he says"well I just bought your ya want it now so I don't have to wrap it?"...

I wanted to smack him...I finally started telling him to cut it out...that I deserve to be surprised just like everyone else...and if he can't do that, then don't waste him time getting me anything at all..

Biddie said...

I know where you are coming from, too!
Shawn is the worst. He gives me ALL of my gifts early, and he can't keep a secret to save his life.
He is the same way with the girls. If I tryt o buy a Christmas or birthday gift early, and he knows about it, the girls will have them by the time we walk in the door.
I am like you. Just one little surprise. PLEASE. Just one.

Burfica said...

Oh man it must be a man thing, because Gigantor does the same exact shit.

Or he gets me stuff that he actually wants, so be greatful at least you are getting stuff you like or want.

Keith Kennedy said...

Boys will be boys!!!

I'd like to apologize for my entire species.


Marni said...

Keith - LOL!!! totally surprised!

katy said...

I can't remember when I last had a surprise of the hubby. I never get flowers unless i buy them, no treats unless i buy them, i surprise him though with the bills for my surprises to ME

coffeypot said...

The fact that he remembered and tried to buy you somehting without any hints from you ought to supprise you.

Martha said...

I'm the opposite. I hate surprises. Occasional, small surprises (like my husband randomly cleaning the bathroom) are fine, but otherwise, I like to know what's coming. I envy your anticipation and excitement, because I think for people like me, life is a little less fun.

Biddie said...

Oh, yeah. I forgot about the flowers. I think that Shawn got me flowers ONCE. He brought them when he was coming back form working out of town.
They were gorgeous.
So, on his way home, he thinks that his mom would like some too. He stopped at her place and gave her half.
That doesn't include the ones that he buys at the grocery store and then says "Don't say that I never buy you anything."
Back in the day though, when we had $$$, he bought me jewlery on a WEEKLY basis.
Those were the days.

Marni said...

Oh, but Coffeypot, he did ask for a hint. On the way INTO the mall he made me stop at a jewlry store and asked me "hmmm... do you like those?" I think I know what he got, just not sure...

CindyDianne said...

I am cursed with the "figure it out" gene. KB can try to surprise me and I almost always figure it out. It is disappointing for him and me. Ugh!

Beth said...

Their hearts are in the right places — but they just didn't watch enough Cary Grant movies growing up.

Valerie said...

I empathize completely. You are preaching to the choir, girlfriend.

After years of hinting, I had to straight out tell Chad that I WANT a card on my birthday and Valentine's Day.

Men need directions and reminders.

You are lucky that he is buying you birthday presents.

Here's wishing that he'll keep the birthday gift a surprise until your birthday.

chelene said...

I know just what you mean and I agree. I love surprises too. A good surprise always makes my day.

Lisa said...

I remember those days. My ex just never got it. Now my friends on the other hand... they ROCK! Always surprising me with something!!

ccw said...

My husband is equally bad. He wants a list and then he rarely strays from the list.

I shop for him based on things he has said throughout the year. After all these years, one would think he would do the same. Ha! Fortunately for me my mom pasy attention and always surprises me.

Asthmagirl said...

The old goat asked me if I wanted a new pair of hiking boots for Christmas. The trouble was that I did, but I didn't want to know my gift. So I said no. He bought me a new monitor instead... which is swell and I love it, but I really wanted the boots! No... I really wanted to be surprised! I hate knowing what's under the tree...

GrizzBabe said...

What a great lesson on men, women and gift giving. There really seems to be a common thread in these comments concerning men. Must be genetic.

Special K said...

I think Carl doesn't give himself enough credit, or has enough confidence that he can pick out soemthing for you with no help and you'll be pleased.
He needs small hurdles and lots of praise when he clears them.

My hubby and I were getitng the same way...we bought all our gifts for each other together...I thought it was cool at first, but it sucks the romance right out of it, doesn't it?
I bought the subject up and now we're working on doing sneaky stuff.
I filled his luggage with romantic notes for his last business trip and sometimes I tuck a little meaningless gift into his briefcase, or leave it in his car, etc.
Men like surprises too, they just don't show it as much, or make as much of a fuss over it....but it sticks with them.

GrizzBabe said...

I think Carl doesn't give himself enough credit, or has enough confidence that he can pick out soemthing for you with no help and you'll be pleased. He needs small hurdles and lots of praise when he clears them.

I love this advice!

Nekked Lizard Lady said...

Well, it's still January and I got my Valentine gift yesterday. Guys just don't get it, do they? I love to be surprised, too.

WendyB said...

Personally, I prefer men NOT to surprise women with jewelry. Because when the woman doesn't like it, guess who gets to deal with the insanity? Moi! I actually won't even accept an order for a surprise engagement ring. If the woman doesn't see it, I'd rather the business goes somewhere else. I don't have time to deal with the typical fallout from that! You have no idea..... :-O

Marni said...

Wendy: Thanks for stopping by! I love new folks!

I can completely understand what you are sayin'! I would hate to be surprised with a new engagement ring or something... Carl DID ask my opinion on a certain piece of jewelry so I pretty much know what he bought - just not the carat... :)

He will always get my thoughts before spending that much cash... I just want him to do it when I'm not at the mall!