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Sunday, January 30, 2011

No need to see him again

That is what the doctor said this weekend. "There is no need to see him again until it is time..."

They have done all they can. His numbers went back up. The prednisone barely helps any more. He is lethargic and pitiful.

And yet still no pain. He may be a little uncomfortable, but not hurting. Yet it is only a matter of time. I listen to all his sounds; I am well aware when he breathes and when that changes. I have heard a small whimper once. I can hear how long it takes him to stand up and how little he stays that way.

But I can't let him go yet.

The thought rips through me and I get choked up.

But I don't think he'll be here past this week. Maybe not even the next couple of days. If he keeps going downhill as fast as he is I will have to just do it. Carl is ready to let him go; he doesn't want it to get worse for him. I'm starting to see his point of view. But this is Grimmy. A living, breathing part of our family.

This is awful.

3 comments:

Coffeypot said...

It is awful, but worse for him. You will do the right thing when it’s time. That’s what love does. Be strong!

SkippyMom said...

Your Dad is right Marni. Grimmy trusts and loves you to do right and we all know you will.

I am sorry it is coming to an end this way, but know that you gave a scared little guy the best life you could. He loves you.

Love you. Hugs sweetheart.

Life in the mom lane said...

I have had to put two cats and two dogs down in my life so far... it is never easy-

I stayed with them all right to the end... I couldn't leave them- they were my babies- I needed them to know that their mom was with them so they would not be scared.

There comes a point and time when you have to ask yourself- am I keeping them alive for them- or for me?

If there is a chance things could get better then you fight.

If things are going downhill fast and they are becoming uncomfortable, disoriented etc... then you are doing it for you- and that is selfish.

True love is being able to make that distinction.

Our pets put their trust in us to do what is best for them...

You'll know what to do and when it's time... stay strong- it will be hard but you will get through it.