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Tuesday, June 10, 2008

What have I done to piss off Kharma...

and how can I fix it?

On Friday my hairdryer quit working. No biggie. Really. (sarcasm, folks) The heating unit went out so it was a lukewarm jet of air. It didn't dry my hair the way it needs to so I got enjoy walking around work looking like a frizzy headed poodle. There was nothing I could do about it so I headed to a meeting at an offsite location.

Prior to this meeting, I had asked a friend that would be there if she would like for me to stop and get us a bagel. She said it was a great idea so I headed to the bagel shop. After ordering, picking up the delicious circles of bread, I headed back out to my car.

As I sat down I heard and felt something go "fffffffrrrrrppppp". Not knowing exactly what it was, I reached around toward my fanny. Low and behold -- a rip. From the waist of my pants to PAST MY BUTT!!! See? My panties and cellulite were feeling the breeze!

Please excuse the size of the butt on this pants. Is my butt really that big

I didn't have a change of clothes in the car. Who the heck has an extra pair of pants in their trunk? (I do now). I called Carl freaking out and yet laughing my ass off. I was an hour away from home, the meeting was in an hour, and I didn't know where a Walmart was.

I called my friend and she did a GPS search. Luckily I was only a block away from Wally World.

Thank heavens I had on a long shirt. I hopped out of the car and walked up to a lady loading her groceries in her car. I said "excuse me, ma'am. But can you see anything if I pull my shirt down?" She took one look and said "Oh. My. LORD, Child!" I knew it was bad. But what could I do?

I scurried into the store and tried to keep my butt hidden from anyone walking near me. I purchased two pair of pants, and the Wally World folks allowed me to change in the dressing room as opposed to the restroom.

Kharma ass kicking done.

Or was it?

Remember the hairdryer? I bought a brand new one on Friday night. I used it Saturday morning... and again Monday morning... where it promptly died on me. I had to use my old one, so once again I went to work looking like a poodle.

The original, new hair dryer is now boxed up awaiting its return to the store. The new, new one is running just fine. But now humidity is kicking in... can't win for losing.

I hope Kharma is done with me. If I've been doing something wrong, I'd really like to know what it is so I can stop.


Canadian flake said...

man oh man can I ever relate to this over the last few days...hope things improve for both of us.

Christine said...

I keep an entire outfit including shoes with me at all times for such emergencies. I've split pants, popped buttons, spilled coffee and yet, put on two entirely different shoes one morning.

My old girlscout leader would be so proud of how prepared I have become. When you're a total loser, you have no choice but to compensate.

CindyDianne said...

Marni please! You went to Alaska.

'nuff said!


Beth said...

Maybe karma is trying to tell you to shop at Target instead.

Valerie said...

I feel bad for you, but you gotta admit, that's funny.

Of course, now that I've written that, something bad is going to happen to me today. ;)