...Ologies

I stole this from Dad, who stole it from Nancy, who got it from… never mind… it’s making my head hurt.

FOODOLOGY
Q. What is your salad dressing of choice?
A. Blue Cheese or Catalina

Q. What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
A. Moe’s! Welcome to Moe’s!

Q. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
A. P.F. Chang’s

Q. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
A. At least 10%... more if you serve me right.

Q. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
A. Mexican

Q. What is your favorite type of gum?
A. Orbit’s Peppermint (light blue box)… I’m chewing some right now. Can you smell it?

TECHNOLOGY
Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?
A. At work it is a blue star-burst. I can’t remember what it is at home!

Q. How many televisions are in your house?
A. Four! Each bedroom has one and then in the living room. (My kids are so freakin’ spoiled)

BIOLOGY
Q. What’s your best feature?
A. My eyes.

Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
A. God yes… my gall-bladder, wisdom teeth, part of my stomach, lots of splinters, and two children

Q. Which of your five senses do you think is keenest?
A. Smell… in the wise words of my dad, I can smell a gnat fart a mile away.

Q. When was the last time you had a cavity?
A. Years ago! I don’t remember the last time I got a “new” one… I’ve mostly had to refill old ones.

Q. What is the heaviest item you lifted last?
A. Dozer – to help him get on the bed. We turn our clothes basket upside down so he can use it for a step. We’ve done laundry (amazing, I know!) and the basket was full. The poor little dude can’t jump on the bed now… he depends on his step too much.

Q. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
A. Yes!

BULLSHITOLOGY
Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
A. Not. At. All.

Q. Is love for real?
A. When I think about or look at my kids (and pugs), I would have to say hell yes.

Q. If you could change your first name, what would you change it to?
A. I like my name. I don’t think I would change it…

Q. What color do you think looks best on you?
A. Red. Or the blue that matches my eyes.

Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
A. Yep! I can remember swallowing a penny one time.

Q. Have you ever saved someone’s life?
A. I don’t think so.

Q. Has someone ever saved yours?
A. Yes! Dr. Smith from Advanced Obesity Surgery.

DAREOLOGY
Q. Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?
A. Nope. Maybe after I visit the “boobie store” in a couple of years.

Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
A. Sure!

Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
A. Nope.

Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
A. Maybe… but I doubt it.

Q. Would you pose nude in a magazine for $250,000?
A. Nope.

Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1,000?
A. Not only no, but HELL NO!

Q. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
A. Nope. Not for all the money in the world.

Q. Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?
A. I would give it a shot, but I don’t know if I could.

Q. Give up MySpace forever for $30,000?
A. Sure! I don’t use it now, so why not.

DUMBOLOGY
Q: What is in your left pocket?
A. A couple of dollar bills and some lint.

Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
A. I laughed at some parts but spent most of the time thinking “WTF?”

Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
A. Both.

Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
A. Stand

Q: Could you live with roommates?
A. Sure… I had fun!

Q: How many pairs of flip-flops do you own?
A. Lots… pink, brown leather, black leather, Georgia Bulldogs (red AND pink), green, blue, black, etc…

Q: Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
A. I’ll plea the fifth

Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?
A. A granny

LASTOLOGY
Q: Friend you talked to?
A. Carla

Q: Last person you called?
A. Carl

RANDOMOLOGY
Q: First place you went this morning?
A. Quick Trip for my coffee!

Q: What can you not wait to do?
A. Go home

Q: What’s the last movie you saw?
A. The Illusionist

Q: Are you a friendly person?
A. I think I am… especially if I like you!